I read a great post recently on the blog of the sweet Sia McKye titled First Loves. It got me thinking about my own first loves but also my own first hates (because I am not so sweet).
First Teen Experience
As a teen girl the fear of asking a boy to dance held the opportunity to be utterly crushed. My crush indeed crushed me. When I got up the nerve to ask him to dance it went like this:
Me: W-would you like to d-dance? (stutter)
Boy: I wouldn’t dance with you if you wore a bag over your head. (nudge friends, laughing)
Me: Oh. (Head down, slink away to cry in bathroom, remainder of year in therapy)
Brussel sprouts. I do indeed fear them. They inspire the fear of throwing up in public.
I threw up all over the dinner table once as a child. To this day the smell makes me gag and run…fast!
(I’m getting sick just looking at this picture –>)
Endured a weekend with a tree-hugger, save-everything gal who stole thimbles of vodka from the company picnic to fill up a bottle to bring, and only allowed me one sheet of toilet paper for my trek in the woods. She also instructed me that if I went #2 I had to:
1. Go on a rock in the sun
2. Find a big stick and smear it so the sun breaks it down and washes it away
I relished the morning she came back to camp wailing that she forgot “to smear”. I took two sheets of toilet paper that day.
First Evil One Who Hurt My Son
Or Evil Russian Dentist, as we call him in our house. He was the spirit of Lenin re-incarnated. The beast ripped my son’s two front teeth out with pliers then proceeded to yell at him for crying and accused me of being a bad mom. Read the full account here.
Avatar. What agony to sit through this horrendous movie! Ten minutes in I knew I couldn’t stand it. I kept turning to my husband to ask “When? When will it end?” Terrible dialogue, characters of the worst cliche, corny, bland and unlikable characters, unoriginal, embarrassing plot of drivel. I’ve never suffered through a worse movie EVER. Steals shamelessly from celexa other movies. Painful to the brain as the eyes. The eye candy of special effects was not enough to save the most over-rated movie ever. What Koolaid were people drinking to rave about this movie?
Machete man. A man with a machete looking to whack off my head. He chased me for years in dreams. Then one day a crowd came. They surged onto the machete murderer and whacked him to death with garden hoses. He disappeared and never returned. Read my post here on him and how dreams affect writing.
I’m going to get so much grief for this but it’s Elton John and Billy Joel. They are awful alone. Who decided to combine them together in some smash barf duo? I twitch and seek escape when their songs come on the radio. My husband has seen them numerous times together in concert. I found this out after I married him, unfortunately. I can’t say who my second music hate is. I would get rotten squash flung at me. I’ll only say that they are British and not unknown.
Scubadiving. The minute the water was my ceiling I freaked out. I was going to die, no doubt about it. The instructor wasted the entire class calming me down as we sunk lower to my doom. I was trapped, to be crushed and never breathe real air again. Flailing arms and a pending heart attack led him to get me safely to the surface. I swore I would never be one with the sea again. Give me a snorkel any day where my body can be attached to the air and the water and I’m fine.
First (and only!) Pregnancy
Okay, on a happy ending, this was my greatest hate that turned into my greatest love. I feared so much having a child. When my son came into the world and I saw him, I fell into the deepest love ever. I had to apologize to him for not liking him before. Good thing he didn’t know I hated him for months. But now I have my entire life to make it up to him.=> Isn’t he adorable?
Do you have some first hates you vividly remember? I’d love to hear about them!