Becoming a novelist was a dream come true. I had found my calling.
In doing so I lost the one thing I had loved all my life.
Hard to imagine, right? Since I was six years old I used to sit and read a book from beginning to end. I would be lost in it. My world was magically changed. Movies were created in my mind. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe was the first book that changed my life as a young girl. I also sucked up Roald Dahl’s books. Then came along V.C. Andrews and Sydney Sheldon. As a teen I devoured their books. Followed by Stephen King and Dean Koontz in my 20s. John Grisham in my 30s. I often threw in a little Danielle Steele and Lavyrle Spencer when feeling sentimental.
Now I must force myself to read. That’s right. Force myself. I am at a loss. I know success must come with sacrifice. But must it be the one thing that I need to write?
As Stephen King said, “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
As a writer I need to keep reading. Books I love, books I suffer through, books I’m indifferent about. Just books!
I truly feel my brain has changed. I can’t focus on reading. And I don’t know why. It’s as if I have exchanged being a lover of books for being a writer of books. I don’t enjoy indulging in words on the page. My brain amoxicillin keeps jumping around. I am not immersed in the story.
I recall the many people I’ve met in life who don’t like to read and could never understand why. Now I am one of them. I feel like I am starting over. I found an article here on how to improve your love for reading. I hope it works.
My goal right now is to read one book a week. I’m struggling with that. It’s work. How can this be work? I slog away, looking up at the clock thinking when can I put this down? I move from one book to another yearning to be lost in it.
If I keep forcing myself will the love come back? I hope so indeed for I have lost my greatest love. Perhaps I need a weekend away with only books and nothing else. Re-awaken the romance.
My reading goal:
Read for 30 minutes each day
Find a spot in my yard with no computer or phone
If a book doesn’t grab me then find another….and another
Try different genres I don’t normally read
Stephen King also said, “The more you read, the less apt you are to make a fool of yourself with your pen.”
I aim to be less a fool for sure.
The Argentinian writer, Jorge Luis Borges, said “I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.”
I want my paradise back.
If you are a writer, has this happened to you? Or are you a reader who lost their love of reading?