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Reptiles, bats & rodents. Snakes on a rug?

By Donna Galanti

It started with a mouse in the Christmas tree. He rode home with us in a nest. His spouse was wise enough to leave him behind. We chased him until midnight when a shoebox got him (and a bit of rodent-directed rage).

Then there’s this old house.

This damn old house.

A sieve. Wide open to creepy crawly things that skitter and slither.

Rodents that love together must die together

And they always seek out my room…err…the guest bedroom. (That room that offers blessed escape from Snore Man. He leaps tall decibels in one breath).

Or is it my comeuppance? Am I paying for the brain-damage of one disease-ridden mouse who hitchhiked a ride? He was trespassing after all.

First it was the mouse that ran and ran. He sprinted across my room in a flash, on a marathon to the finish line. I hope his fans were cheering for him by a bush and not my pillow.

We then got two cats. Warrior brothers. Tigers with roar. Useless felines. Only good for snuggling, not rodent stomping.

They like to play with moths. Giant moths. A moth that became a bat one night. A flick of the light revealed his black wings of horror as he swooped around my head. A squeally tromp to the kitchen for bat-catching oven mitts ended in him rolling away in a ball unfound. Sleepless nights followed.

Imagine same room. This ultram weekend. Dresser yanked open to find a sickly mouse (the largest of his kind in the world) watching me with beady eyes and whip tail. This was followed by a scream and a shove of the drawer shut, to then be followed by dragging the dresser outside. But not before his dead mate revealed himself under the dresser of death. Both poisoned by toy clay they found. Thanks son.

More shrieks. Clothes to be washed. Old dresser tossed at the curb. Tainted with rodent poop forever.

Fast forward two days. Running late. Dimwitted cat sitting on rug staring at round thing as big as a dish. I move in closer. Not a toy. A snake!

A freakin’ reptilious-coiled-up-hissing snake. Another squeally race to the kitchen for plastic bags. Return to find Reptilly gone. (Insert curse words of most profane here). Find snake in corner with dumb cat on guard doing nothing. Grab snake in bag and fling outside. Quick eye reveals two feet of serpent saluting me goodbye in the flashing sun. I hope he found a lawnmower somewhere.

Snakes on plane? Samuel L. Jackson rocks but no need to travel to find snakes. Just come to this damn old house in Pennsylvania. Yes, these curse words were said.

This damn old Pennsylvania farmhouse.

Moving can’t come soon enough.

Have you had close encounters with flying, slithering, or skittering critters in your house?

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Filed Under: Comic Relief Tagged With: bat, mouse, old house, Samuel L. Jackson, snake, snakes on a plane

Comments

  1. J.L. Campbell says

    May 31, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Hi, Donna,
    I hopped over here from someone else’s blog. Can’t remember which. I’d be freaked out by coming across those rats. I’m deathly afraid of anything without feet and anything that has more than two feet. I would have poked that snake rather than pick him up. Hats off to you on that. 🙂

  2. dgalanti says

    May 31, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Hi J.L.
    Yes, I had a moment of terror when I scooped that snake up in a bag. Ran as fast as I could down the stairs and outside and hope he didnt slither out!

  3. Leslie says

    May 31, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Wow – adventures in old houses!

    I’ve lived in a few old places but never with quite that much excitement…especially the snake! I’m okay with the slithery guys outside but not so much sharing interior space. Hopefully that’s the end of the wildlife!

    • dgalanti says

      June 1, 2012 at 9:01 am

      Hi Leslie, thanks for stopping by! I dont mind the snakes outside either. I hope its the end of the wildlife here too. Next it will be that hooting owl that parks himself outside my window. LOL. The cats would be in danger then!

  4. Cham Cuartero says

    June 2, 2012 at 3:53 am

    When I was 12, my mom and I found a large, roach-like critter on the kitchen counter, the real name of which I never found out. We opened the kitchen sink drain and dropped the offending visitor there, flushing it with lots of water. A few hours later, I heard a sound from the sink. To my horrors, the monster was popping its head out from the sink drain. Still gives me the shivers just writing about it now… O.O

    • dgalanti says

      June 2, 2012 at 9:10 am

      Oooh, Cham, that is so creepy! That is fodder for a horror story. Hours later?? I would be creeped out. Gosh.

  5. Catherine Stine says

    June 2, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Eek, that would freak me out! We have the occasional moth and mouse, but no snakes.

  6. Mina B. says

    June 4, 2012 at 10:51 am

    I’m not a fan of rodents period. And that post creeped me out too. “shudders” Gotta love snakes on a plane, though. 🙂

    • dgalanti says

      June 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      Mina, I laughed so thru Snakes on a Plane – would give me total freedom to just have a curse fest. M-F’n snakes! You bet I was cursing that snake on my rug. I stood there looking at it screaming “Seriously? Seriously??” And this is in an attic room. Did it fall from a tree? Just like Eden?

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